I have secret to tell you, but come closer so no one overhears. I don’t have perfect children. If you read my facebook posts or hang out with me, you would never know that, but truth is, my kids have done some stuff. I guess you could say that makes me a loser as a parent. I generally suck at life, right?
Every time I am with other moms and discussions begin about our kids, it is always with a hushed tone, and a survey of the room, that the realness begins. Literally, a look over the shoulder to check if anyone that we don’t want to know we have a chink in our armor is there. Hands cover mouths when things like bad grades, drug use, premarital sex…what would they think if they knew? It doesn’t matter what socio-economic or religious background, we all speak just above a whisper and sometimes spell out words that we are speaking to somehow deny them their power.
Do you have a kid that isn’t a 4.0, captain of a sports team with an academic scholarship locked up? I don’t know you. You are a mythical being. Most of us have kids that might excel in one area or maybe excel at nothing but making us laugh. They might have had issues with social interaction or law enforcement or used drugs. They may have a sexuality that is not Adam and Eve but Adam, Eve and Ava or any other combination you can think of. You won’t hear us talk about that.
Navigating raising children is a journey that is laden with obstacles that are hidden. With each child, the needs and personality are different and what you had success with in one will be completely ineffective with the next. Same goes with “advice” that is given by our well meaning friends. We all have to do what works….
The biggest gift you can give the world is to raise children that care about others. That would rather not talk to their peers if they drift towards harming themselves or another. That have confidence in your love never wavering. That are honest with you and others. That don’t live in a self involved bubble once they leave your home, because let’s face it, kids are and should be self involved. That are curious about politics and the world around them and are free to think whoever they do.
So, my name is Mary, and my kids are not perfect. I am shouting this to you. My kids are humans.
Bitches and Issues 