How many of you think about your breathing? I am sure for most of us, outside of yoga fanatics and athletes, breathing is something we take for granted. The inhale/exhale we do on a moment to moment basis is assumed.
I am very aware of my breathing. I grew up with two smokers and began the descent into tobacco usage full time in high school. I was so cool. I replaced my running and sport playing body with an almost adult smoking one. It was awesome.
In my forties, I began to regularly get pneumonia. I had become a part time smoker for years then. A social smoker. We bought a little bar and my second hand smoke became very first hand and then my colds became pneumonia. At least once a year, I would feel an elephant on my chest and by the end, could tell my doctor which lung and location.
In a rare moment of clarity, I realized that the pneumonia and my smoking were related. I was able to envision the life I would have if I should continue smoking. The elephant crushing my lungs would not be just when sick, but would be an ever present feeling. For the one time in my life that I made the right decision, I stopped. I dedicated myself to improving my weakened lung function and managed to improve them through very hard work and a trainer that was relentless in her torture of me.
I sit in a hospital watching my mom get winded from walking down a hallway. Some of that is from all the medicines to get her lungs to function.
Flashbacks to when I was a child and I would beg her to quit smoking. Flashbacks to all the times she tried to quit but had an excuse to start up again. Flashbacks to when I knew she was smoking even after getting her diagnosis of copd.
There is no safe cigarette. There is no smart way to smoke. There is definitely no way to safely smoke when your lungs are compromised. Even the smallest of virus will sideline a person with copd and when you add an irritant and poison like a cigarette to it, you are guaranteed trouble. When you add allergens to the other ones, you may end up spending days on end in a hospital and getting pumped with steroids and nebulizers and antibiotics and noise.
Don’t smoke. Quit now.
If you don’t, you may find yourself in a hospital gown with an angry adult daughter reliving her childhood fears.
Current mood
Bitches and Issues 