Ohhh, if I had the chance to do it all again, with the experience and perspective I have, now. It is the mantra of every forty-plus person I know. Every.last.one. It’s a cartoon bubble above the head of every person that makes it to middle age. Most of us are nearly opposites of the creatures we were at twenty. Psychologists, politicians and ad executives have long studied demographics because of the many advantages of understanding the differences. As I write this, I wonder if I’ll be able to write anything on the topic that could be considered new and fresh. Then, I think, Hell, I don’t care. It is because I have achieved a certain age-induced perspective that I don’t care.
Dear 20 Year Old Me:
Life is too freaking short for the drama. Really. Get.over.yourself. You cannot single-handedly cure the ills of the world simply because it’s on your to-do list. You have to actually DO something. But, for all that is holy, BE REASONABLE. Here are a few things that you should consider.
1) Your parents get a lot smarter as YOU get older. You see, they’ve already survived some of the crap that is still a few hundred hours into your future. You’re not going to agree with all of it, but you’ll find that there is truth…real, inarguable truth…in most of it. Some of it is going to be a product of their own neuroses. Learn to know the difference.
2) You don’t know anything about how the world really works. Everyone has a personal agenda, even if the agenda is genuine kindness. Everyone has a personal motivation for every action and reaction they have. Don’t ignore your instincts in reading people: both good and bad.
3) Remember that the other guy/girl may be having a day far worse than anything you could imagine. Sometimes, a smile and a kind word can fix it. You are not the only person with a crisis.
4) Politics are NOT black and white. For every nice thing you want to do for people, there has to be a way to pay for it.
5) Do not enable bad behavior and do not tolerate abuse of any kind. Anyone who would treat you badly at the beginning of a relationship will treat you far worse as you become complacent. Don’t let the line keep moving.
5) Religion is a human construct. Humans are deeply flawed creatures, perpetually searching for meaning greater than themselves. Faith is a power that all men share. It is that to which they give their faith that is often the problem. God has been used a weapon for more destruction than any other force in the universe. I often picture him weeping at the horrors humans perpetrate on one another and on the world. Have faith in beauty, love and genuine kindness. Note that I did not say goodness. “Good” is an ephemeral concept. One man’s sin is another man’s salvation. You need simply study world religions to understand that concept.
6) YOU are the only person that will always care for yourself. That’s right. YOU. Give yourself the value you should. Do not measure your value against the rest of the world. Be the example. It’s infectious. Don’t strive for the standard. Raise the standard.
7) Your organs WILL age. Biology will take care of that without any input from you. You can slow her progress by taking care of your body. You got one. Don’t squander it.
8) Never stop learning. The world is a big place. Absorb it. Assimilate it. It will all serve you well later when you need inspiration and perspective.
20-year-old self, fifty will be your age of enlightenment. You have 30 years to make mistakes, learn from them, improve yourself and your environment and if you’re very lucky, pour a little of yourself into the next generation. Don’t screw it up and don’t hurt anyone.
Bitches and Issues 